Fire Department Photos

This summer I was asked to shoot some photos for the Centennial Fire Department.

Here are a few from that day. (click on the photo to expand)

Give the Rock Stars Credit

There is an undeniable buzz in the air. Thousands upon thousands of people anticipate the arrival of the band. Camera flashes fill the arena accompanied by laughter, yelling, and even a tear or two from the overly zealous young fan.

The lead singer steps up to the microphone and the crowd noise reaches a level that would make your deaf grandma cringe. The first guitar riff fills the arena followed by the steady and catchy groove that the drummer lays down.

You gaze out at the crowd that surrounds you. Everyone has dropped their conversations, let go of their distractions and immersed themselves into a melody and some lyrics. They have, for the moment, become one. The crowd responds to the ebb and flow of this journey called song.

The song progresses through its highs and lows, choruses, and verses.

As the song comes to a close the bass player drops out, followed by the guitars, and then the drums. All that’s left are a few chords on a piano and a lead singer mouthing the lyrics “DON’T LET ME GO.”  He’s mouthing the lyrics because he no longer needs to sing. Every voice has picked up where he left off. He simply plays the chords and listens.

What seemed like a song has now transformed into an anthem of sorts; meeting people in places they never anticipated or expected. The broken, bruised, and weary hearts of an entire crowd somehow find hope and healing in four simple words, “DON’T LET ME GO.”  People extend their arms, close their eyes, and those who are hurting the most shed more than just a few tears.

You can feel the desperation in people’s voices. You can sense their longing to be part of something honest, raw, and engaging.

You have to give the rock stars credit: They have succeeded in doing something that the Church has so often failed to do. They have created an honest and open community that shows no shame in crying out “DON’T LET ME GO.”

Think about the vulnerability it takes to sing at the top of your lungs that you need something or someone to never let go of you. You are admitting to everyone around you that something is messed up, something hurts, something needs healing.

At the core of this anthem are the hearts of people looking for something more. They are looking for something to cling to in the midst of uncertainty, doubt, and a life that often times leaves them feeling lonely and misunderstood. They resonate with the honesty of this community. They resonate with the multitude of others who seem to be facing the same struggles and wounds. They find themselves in a sea of people who are attempting to find their way, yet don’t claim to have all the answers; and it feels like a safe place to be. A place where perhaps they could let their guard down. A place where they could share doubts, fears, failures, and victories. A place they would be O.K. crying out “DON’T LET ME GO.”

You have to give the rock stars credit. People found this community at a “FRAY” show and not at Church.

You have to give the rock stars credit. People found life, hope and some healing at a “FRAY” show and not at Church.

You have to give the rock stars credit. They can teach us a valuable lesson about the flaws in our Church community.

It’s time to change our Church Anthem from “everything is fine, I’m O.K., life is perfect” to something more honest, more truthful, and a lot more raw. Something along the lines of “God whatever you do, Church community whatever you do, DON’T YOU DARE LET ME GO, not for one second or I won’t survive.”

Maybe then we would fill stadiums.

Maybe then we would see transformation.

Maybe then we’d be able to point to the hope and healing of Jesus instead of a catchy melody.

Church, it’s time to change our anthem.

Rhythm Is About Timing

I have a good friend who was completely inspired by the movie “Stomp The Yard.” After seeing the film, which for the record I still have yet to see, she was convinced that the next step in life would lead her to being a hip hop dancer. I am still waiting for her to post videos on YouTube so I can evaluate her skills.

Not many of us are great dancers, so when we watch or see a great dancer it can be very inspiring. Ok confession – even though I have not seen “Stomp The Yard” I have seen “Save The Last Dance.”

But what separates a great dancer from a bad dancer? What causes us to be motivated/inspired by one and cringe/laugh at the other? After all both types of dancers are simply moving their bodies as music plays.

So what does it come down to?

It’s all about the ability to be in sync; in time with the RHYTHM of the music. A great dancer can actually feel the music and it guides their next step or non step. A bad dancer, no matter how great their moves, always seems to be out of touch with the RHYTHM.

I’ve been wondering lately if the same is true of our life with God. It seems like the most inspiring people I meet are always the people who have found, and are in RHYTHM with the song God is playing. They can feel His kingdom song and it guides who they are and the next steps they take. They create spaces and experiences that continually help them to stay in time with the RHYTHM because they understand that the further away they get from the source of all RHYTHM the harder it becomes to stay “in time.”

Staying in time with the RHYTHM is just as much about knowing when to pause as knowing when to move. Movement for movement sake is not always the answer to finding the RHYTHM. Sometimes our non steps, or non movements are the key to realigning with the RHYTHM.

Good dancers know when to move, and when not to move. I think they can teach us something valuable about our relationship with God. In order to engage the RHYTHM we have to know if our next step is to pause or to move.

The Outside Looking In

Wedding guest lists are an unusually strange thing. They can produce such a variety of emotions.

There are indeed many wedding guest lists that all of us would have rather been left off of. Why? Well we don’t really see ourselves as great friends and now there is a sense of obligation to give up both time and resources. When you open an invitation like this you find yourself praying a “family obligation” would somehow make its way to your iCal. That way  you could “decline with deep regret.”

But what about those invites that never show up? You know, the invite you were almost sure you would receive no matter how exclusive the list was said to be. After all; you’ve had countless dinners, coffee’s and hangs. You’re in…….for sure.

So what happens when it never comes? How do you respond? Does it change your friendship with them? How can it not? Do you ignore it? Do you suck it up and get over it? Do you ever bring it up?

What about next time you hang out or get a text from them? Do you ignore them? Do you pretend it’s fine and offer your congratulations when really you just wanna know the reason behind it all?

I think for awhile now I’ve tried to ignore it. I’ve tried to just brush it off like it wasn’t a big deal to me. I tried justifying it for them. “Oh well, the list was small, a lot of people weren’t on the list.” I’ve tried offering grace, because in all reality it’s their wedding day, it’s not about me.

You think you’re doing fine, but then technology slaps you in face as mutual friends post photos. You try not to do it, but you start comparing yourself to everyone who was there. Maybe they had one more coffee together, one more shared story: but gosh I thought I was in. What do they have that I don’t? Am I really that far down the list? And it’s not a dis on anyone that was there, you just assumed you were in.

And then you realize, “hey I guess this was a big deal to me. I guess this mattered more than I thought.” So you are done justifying for them, and giving grace. You’re done brushing it off and pretending like it’s OK.

Here you are stuck trying to figure out why you feel hurt. And then it hits you; you realize it’s not that you want to be invited to every party, or be everyone’s friend.  That’s impossible and it’s never been your intention. You feel this way because you only invest into a few because you value rich relationships, and they were one of the few. You realize that you invested a lot of yourself into a friendship that obviously mattered far more to you than it ever did to them and that’s a difficult truth to swallow.

So where do you go from here? I have no idea.

What does God look like?

Multiple conversations and preparations as of late have forced me to address this question, “What does God look like?”

It started with an intern at church leading through a simple devotional about our ever increasing tendency to place God into a box.  Lost somewhere in the back of my mind amidst the chaotic pace of life and my to-do list’s was my knowledge of this all-too-common tendency.  However, this devotional, coupled with writing a few messages for senior high students, and various small group discussions forced me out of my own box(es).

It’s rather extraordinary how much my view of God and what He looks like has been shaped and molded by my upbringing. (This goes for all of us in my opinion.) I have only recently recognized how strong this influence is.  The time spent and the experiences shared with family, what type of church I grew up in (if I did grow up in a church), and how others in my life have communicated God through their words and actions, whether or not they followed Jesus.

Growing up the people around me conveyed that Jesus probably had a sweet beard and baby blue eyes that most people would kill for. He hung out on people’s walls, always looking put together in all of his portraits.  As for God; I was less aware of his physical characteristics, but would have put some decent money down on the fact that He was shiny, bright and large.  He wore a robe and hated hats, especially baseball hats in church.  In high school God started to look like the critic on the sidelines; clipboard and whistle in hand. (This was me.) He was most interested in what you refrained from doing and he had a checklist to prove it. In college God wasn’t interested in listening and you could use His name for leverage in intense arguments as long as He told you that you were right beforehand.

It takes time to break down pictures and escape from boxes. I have made progress in breaking down those pictures of God, but even as I make progress I become aware of new tendencies, new assumptions, and new ways I have put God into a box.  I expect him to show up the same way every time. It’s usually a Wednesday/Saturday night or Sunday morning in a crowded worship center. I expect Him to move me through music and the message, and I expect that once I leave I will have to wait a week to hear from or experience Him again.

But then there are those days when I am not moved by the music, and my mind is too distracted to listen to a speaker. What then? I typically shrug it off and silently wait for next time. And in that moment I have (subconsciously) made up my mind as to what God looks like. I assume God looks like a building with people (mostly white and affluent), music, flashing lights, and a speaker. I also assume I wasn’t focused enough to get out of the service what God had intended for me. Then I wait till next week.

But what if the music seemed stale and inauthentic to me for a different reason? What if the message didn’t motivate me because it was too easy and formulaic? What if I was actually supposed to learn a lesson from this experience? What if God was pleading with me to break free of the mundane boxes I have placed around Him?

What if He is begging us to experience with our lives what He looks like? That He looks like a small group sharing a meal and conversation for hours. That He looks like the driver who extends a ride or meal to the man holding the sign. That He looks like the student roaming the Tijuana Dump with candy and a smile. That He looks like the friend who drops their own agenda for the sake of someone else. That He looks like the spouse who listens and comforts. That He looks like the mentor who takes the time to invest.

So what does God look like? God looks like REDEMPTION, and He is waiting for us, me and you, to break free of our boxes and play a part.

Come and Play

This past Sunday I had the privilege of soaking in one of the most simple, yet beautifully profound interviews I have ever heard. A church in the Twin Cities asked William P. Young (author of “The Shack”) to stop by and share his heart behind writing the book.

What proceeded left myself and a few of my closest friends speechless. Speechless in a good way, no not just good, rather great. We were speechless with humility and hope. It wasn’t the imitation hope we often leave a Sunday  “church” service with. It was different; it was intimate, it was refreshing, it was passionate, it was contagious, it was courageous, it was authentic. It was all those things and more, and it came from a simple man willing to be vulnerable about his own pain, suffering, and brokenness.  He was willing to let us into his story, a story that took 11 years of healing.

I could write for ages about what I heard that night and about what it stirred up in me. Perhaps in the coming days and weeks it will find itself on the paper of a journal or the pages of this blog. I will leave you with a few of the things that stood out to me…

Freedom is waking up with no tracks to cover, no lies to keep in order. Freedom comes from being the same person in every single situation, no more pretending.

“God does not heal us to use us, He heals us so that He can invite us to come and play.”

It’s been awhile since I’ve felt like God has invited me to come and play. I am intrigued by this God, I want to know more of Him. He offers hope and healing.  He offers freedom for my soul.

Oh the mysterious and wonderful character of God that he would desire to heal me so I could come and play.

come. surrender. repeat.

I think one of the most difficult things about being a follower of Jesus is to consistently recognize and remember my need for God.  I find it easy to lose touch with that. I find myself thinking about certain points in my life where I was more aware of my need for God. It was in those times that I felt more alive, more at peace, more secure, and more loved.  Why?  Because the more I recognize and acknowledge my need for God the more I surrender pieces of my broken self.

There is something beautiful about someone who is aware of their need for God. I am not talking about someone who arrogantly walks around pointing fingers in attempt to make others more “aware.”  I am talking about the person who lives in grace, and extends that grace to others because they know deep within their own soul they are a broken mess. I am talking about someone who exudes humility in their leadership and position. Someone who admits their faults and imperfections. Someone who loves deeply despite all the risks.

For me, Jesus came to save me from more than just sin. He came to do more than save me from a broken world. I think he came to save me from myself; from my pride and arrogance, my ignorance, my fear, and the hate inside me. He came to save me from my judgmental tendencies, and my need to always be right.  Jesus came to save me from myself. But how?

I think it starts with facing a hard truth. The truth that the version of Christianity we often preach communicates that there isn’t much more to following Jesus than admitting your a sinner, making an initial commitment, going on with your life, and not giving it much thought after that. If only it was that easy.

To be saved from myself I first must recognize and become more aware of my need for God. In order for me to do that I must view my decision to follow Jesus as more than a one-and-done type faith. I must choose to accept the invitation for transformation. I must choose to accept the invitation to come and surrender. And just when I think I have surrendered enough of my pride or fear, or that there isn’t anything else left to surrender, I must do a difficult thing. I must recognize I am not done yet. I must look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that a one time surrender will never be enough to save me from myself. I must repeat the process. It is in this repetition that I begin to shed all the things that hold me back. In this repetition I become capable of bringing a piece of the Kingdom to earth. In this repetition I experience what it means to be fully alive.

come. surrender. repeat.

A DISPLACEMENT OF HOPE

I’ve been thinking about a few things lately….the city, politics, and hope. I have to admit there have been multiple days I throw my hands above my head in frustration. Why?

For starters I am saddened, even offended by the way in which many followers of Jesus have conducted themselves during this political season, but before you jump down my throat and label me “liberal”, I have witnessed this atrocious conduct on both sides of the political spectrum. Since when has the Gospel been about being “right”? Judging others? Placing labels? And sneaking in sly-under-the-radar comments on our Facebook profile status?

My current favorite…”Want to piss off a democrat…work hard and make lots of money.” WOW! That is really all I can say. I honestly feel like we have reverted back to junior high school as we endorse our candidate of choice with words that remind me of tacky bumper stickers like “My dad can beat up your dad” or “My student kicked your honor student’s a**.”

Ignorance, a sense of entitlement, and the constant need to “be right” destroys our ability to rationalize and communicate with each other.

As far as the city goes, I have been thinking a lot about the “least of these.” As followers of Jesus I don’t think it is an option if we give the marginalized a thought. Our faith is not a drive-thru menu where we ignore the stuff we don’t like, or the stuff that’s hard, or the stuff that requires us to “do something.” And when it comes to politics, I find it interesting that we (myself included) evaluate policies, and stances more based on the outcome for US and less on the outcome or impact for those really hurting, really suffering, and really struggling.

It would be a whole different story if everyone gave out of their surplus, and supported causes for the orphan and the widow. Then I would say fine, look out for yourself when it comes to government policies, you have proven with your life that you are looking out for others. The least of these are being taken care of. But who are we kidding? Who am I kidding? This way of life couldn’t be further from the truth for 95% of us. We don’t give a second glance to people with real needs, they are an inconvenience to our already busy lives. To top it off our selfishness kicks into high gear come every 4 years when we vote based on the benefit to OUR lives, to OUR pocketbooks. Shame on us. Here is a post worth checking out… http://www.sojo.net/blog/godspolitics/?p=3196

Hope is powerful. I have the Hebrew word for hope (tik-vah) tattooed on my right forearm. I know, I am so manly and tough. Without hope people perish. Dreams, aspirations, goals, and self-esteem shrivel up and die. We need hope to survive. I need hope to survive. So why then have so many of us placed an inappropriate amount of hope in any of the political parties to solve this messed up world. In all honesty I think we place our hope in a candidate or a political party because somewhere in our mind it lets us off the hook. Not really, but we sure like to think so. We think by voting for Mr. Whoever or holding a sign every 4 years crying foul that we have somehow done our part in being the change we wish to see. So we hold our tongues until the next election. We put away our signs in the garage, breathe a sigh of relief and continue on with our comfortable lives. How patriotic of us!

When will we place enough hope in each other (despite different viewpoints) to see actual progress? When will we place enough hope in our Creator to see that He isn’t interested in our material needs or comforts? (Or how policies affect our accumulation potential.) When will hope overthrow selfish motives? When will hope stir us to become part of a better story?

I hope it’s soon because I am dying without hope.

A GENTLE NUDGE…

This weekend I had the chance to be a church attender for the first time in a long time. Working at a church definitely limits your ability to come to a service and “take it in” without worrying about all of your responsibilities.

My wife was singing on the worship team, so my mom brought my grandma who we affectionately call “Nana.” My grandma is the the best. Unlike many other in her generation demographic, she loves that church has a new spin, a new perspective; something besides the traditional and all too often boring worship experience. Instead of complaining that the music is too loud, she asked if I would teach her the melody of the songs she wasn’t familiar with.

Nana lost her husband in August 2007. He was not only my grandpa, but a dear friend, one of my biggest encouragers, and such a centerpiece to our family. To us he was known as “Bumpa.” It’s been rough for all of us, but especially Nana.

During the message, Nana slid her hand into mine and held on tight. It was as if she was saying “I need you, now more than ever.”

I realized after the service it was exactly the nudge I had been in need of. You see, all too often I get so caught up in “doing vocational ministry” that I forget those in my life that need my love, my compassion, my support, and my time just as much as the students and people at our church. How crazy that we sometimes neglect those we love the most in the name of doing God’s work. I don’t think God is all that enthused with how easily our priorities get messed up.

Is there someone in your life that is trying to get your attention? Are you paying attention to the gentle nudge?

Here’s to loving well; family, friends, strangers, enemies, and those who are hard to love.

MAY LOVE WIN!

WHAT’S WITH YOUR BLOG TITLE?

I have been a huge procrastinator when it comes to starting a blog. Pretty much everyone has one. At this point it seems like I am merely following everyone’s lead. Perhaps that is a good thing…instead of writing to be noticed or to keep up with everyone else I am writing because the desire is there. I am writing because I feel like I have something to say. Whether or not it’s worth your while is up to you. (But to be honest I don’t really care if you like it.)

I am anticipating a lot of silent wonder in regard to the title of my blog, “DRINK DEEP, ENGAGE THE RHYTHM.” So for clarification reasons I thought I would expound on what it means and where it came from.

In October of 2008 I had an incredible opportunity to travel to Estes Park, CO and meet a group of complete strangers. We gathered together for one purpose, to find the RHYTHM, BALANCE, and RESTORATION our lives and souls desperately needed. The God-sized dream of one person, and the planning of a dedicated few turned into reality for 23 of us.

Our theme was Matthew 11:28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

4 days to disconnect from the chaotic pace of life. 4 days to share your own story, and to learn the stories of others. 4 days to learn what it means to recapture or capture for the very first time a balance and RHYTHM that will be sustainable throughout our lives.

4 days that will always fail to be explained with words of appropriate grandeur.

When it came to depart the mountain (literally) we were asked to come up with one phrase that summed up our experience. For me the words seemed to write themselves. DRINK DEEP, ENGAGE THE RHYTHM.

I knew I was tired of just grazing the surface when it came to being a follower of Jesus. I want to dig deeper into this life with God than ever before. I want so desperately to ENGAGE the RHYTHM that is all around me. The very RHYTHM of God is all around us, waiting for us to ENGAGE, what an incredible truth! I want to be dissatisfied with a mediocre existence, a mundane life void of adventure, fear, and radical love. And the only way I know how to do that is to DRINK DEEP, and ENGAGE THE RHYTHM. So here goes everything.